A Day in the Life of Sin...ta

Hello, my name is Sinta (officially Shinta but the "h" is silent and I got tired of explaining that as I was growing up) and welcome to my very first blog site. You've just come across my very first blog entry and I just want to take the time to thank you for visiting my site. I haven't fully decided on all the topics that I'll be talking about here but I do love writing and it is a form of therapy for me, so perhaps you will come across some personal experiences along with some hobbies and interests of mine. I'll be sure to post the good, the bad and the ugly, after all... we can't always be the best versions of ourselves all the time, everyday.

So I guess I'll start with an introduction of myself, I was born in a city called Bandung in Indonesia. This place is a hub for shopping and culinary experience, feels like the city never sleeps. I have a little big sister (she's younger, but much taller), she goes by the name of Lux, sometimes Lady Lux depending on how she feels. My step dad's from England (you'll see me referring to him as my dad, he's been in my life since I was about 1 years old) and my mom's Indonesian, together we moved out of the country when I was about 5 years old (or maybe 6). We went on to go live in England where I attended the first grade of elementary school at my dad's hometown, Bracknell. By the age of 7, I attended another elementary school in Seattle, WA and finally, by the time I was attending third grade, we had moved to Montreal, QC where I curr

ently reside in a neighbouring city. Anyway, here I am, over 25 years later and creating this blog in hopes of having a space where I can express myself, vent or pour my heart out and be vulnerable. Feel free to judge, everyone does anyway and I'm at the point in my life where I am learning to be comfortable with myself and not requiring the approval of others to validate my own worth.

My life has changed drastically this year and it continues to do so... for example, I've pretty much been jumping from one relationship to another since I was in my teenage years. Can you believe that...? I haven't actually spent time alone and chilled with myself for this long of a period and it's sad to say that it took me over 33 years to learn this. I had to hit a dark place for me to finally realise that it was my time to spend some alone time. Do you know how scary it feels to go down there, alone? All the shadow work coming out and having to face the overthinking mind... Inner shadow work that was suppressed all this time, healing the childhood traumas and deep-rooted insecurities. Still working on them. It's been five months since my last relationship ended and I think I've done heap loads of healing since. I'm not one to praise myself and am actually pretty harsh with myself, working on that, so now I'm taking the time to appreciate my journey of healing.

I've been on a couple of dates since I've been single, mind you, only first dates... entertaining, I guess you can say. It's kind of strange, actually, this time around I've had the sudden realisation of how dangerous online dating could be. My place used to be the meeting point, I used to give out my address to people I didn't know and barely spoke to before we decided to meet. Shows you how naive I once was. But you know what? It's because of online dating that I was able to connect with a special flame, so it can't be that bad, right? Anyway, this time around, it's not for me... not what I need at the moment, especially after my last date.

I've had a beautiful summer though, discovering myself, affirming the things that I do enjoy. I believe that every relationship brings a different version of you, different people bring out different traits. I took on a new interest from each relationship and I went and did these things alone just to be sure I enjoyed the actual activity and not the fact that I was doing it with them. That's the kind of discovering I've been doing about myself, I hadn't taken the time to do this before. Above all, I am grateful that I've been spending a lot more time with my dog, giving him the love and attention he's been wanting and deserving. I'd watch videos of people travelling with their dogs, going on hikes and discovering new places together. I am stoked to announce that I did exactly that this summer and that I have been blessed with my most recent memories with my dog, visiting the region of Bruce Peninsula, ON. Place is gorgeous by the way, I'll probably write a separate post dedicated to that trip, actually, I'll just drop a selfie that I took on that trip right here. I've also had the fortunate chance to co-own a van with a long-time family friend, it allowed for some great camping trips while discovering some new areas within Quebec.

Summer in Montreal is amazing, we get beautiful weather and the days are long with the sun only going down around 9 pm. Taking advantage of these summer days have been such a blessing, whether I was out biking, hiking or walking around in the woods. Being outdoors makes me happy, not to mention that I have no neighbours behind my place so I get to look out into a forest and some greenery. I've also picked up on meditating, something new this year, it's brought nothing but positive influence and allows me to remove some of the excess thoughts that may be lingering and keeps me grounded. I've been developing my spirituality in the last couple of years, more so in the recent months, I practice gratitude everyday and when things may get a little tough or overwhelming in my head, I remind myself to be grateful of my breath. Will get more into detail on that on other posts.

Overall, I'd like to think that I've been really focusing on my healing, some days are better than others, but the importance is that I keep at it, continue to dig and allowing the emotions to surface. If you happen to be going through something similar and feel like you're alone, know that I can feel your pain, your hurt, your sadness but I also know that you got this and none of the emotions you feel are ever permanent. A friend just recently reminded me of a mantra I once repeated to myself at the start of the pandemic two years ago; Things are gonna get tough and things are gonna change, but one thing's for sure, things do work out.

Thanks for taking the time to read my first little blurb. Sending you love and light.